I love you so very very much and forever
by Ailenroc
Summary: Hermione has an achingly beautiful and passionate longing for Draco since forever. But how can she tell him? What will her friends say? Why does he keep calling her a Mudblood even though he's on the side of good? DHr PARODY. R


**A/N**: Well, I hope you guys like it. I said it before, and I'll say it again: this is a PARODY. I personally think Draco and Hermione are about as likely to get together as Crabbe finding out he's a girl and has been married to Malfoy for the past ten years, but that's my opinion. If you write a good, strong D/Hr fic that's well researched, power to you! This is a parody of the bad ones. The implausible ones. The ones where Dumbledore makes Hermione marry Draco for unexplained reasons. 

Anyway, hope you enjoy! R&R! 

**Chapter 1: A chance for love?**

It was the start of a new school year at Hogwarts, and Hermione Granger was nervous. Over the last year (her sixth year), Hogwarts and the Ministry had worked together to fight back Voldemort's legion. The second war was here, and there had already been many deaths. 

But for some reason, that wasn't what was nagging Hermione's mind. No. It was a boy…no, no longer a boy! It was a man…a man with pale, blonde hair. To hers and everyone else's surprise, when the time had come to pick sides, Draco (he had never been just 'Malfoy' to her) had chosen the side of good. He had defied his father, and actually saved her life when she had beaten back Bellatrix Lestrange at the last battle. 

Hermione thought it was all very poetic and tragic. 

So she sat in her compartment, looking dreamily out of the window at the passing scenery, occasionally giving long, sad, aching, heartfelt sighs. Harry and Ron looked a little peeved at this point, since Hermione had been sighing nonstop for the past hour. Harry looked like he was about to go join Malfoy's compartment, and Ron looked as if he'd rather be barfing slugs again. 

After the first sigh, Ron and Harry had asked her what was wrong, but it was too deep, too dark a secret to tell them. So in a tragic voice, with the hint of a sob in her tone, her eyes had welled up with tears and she had told them, "It's nothing." 

Suddenly, with a dramatic BANG! their compartment door flew open, and Malfoy stood there, in all his godly glory. About to say something rude about hating muggles (despite the fact that…he's supposed to be on the good side), he stopped, stunned. The past year, fraught with battles against Voldemort and much less schoolwork, had really been to Hermione's benefit. She was much trimmer now, and had filled out considerably. And researching spells against dark wizards, she had conveniently found a hair-taming charm, so now she was stunning beautiful (which explains why she stunned Malfoy). 

"You know, Granger, if you weren't a Mudblood, I'd say you don't look half bad!" he sneered. 

Tears began to form in Hermione's eyes, but she bravely stopped them from trickling down her cheeks. Raising her wand she shouted, "I hate your guts Malfoy!" when what she really wanted to say was, "I love you Draco, let's have some premarital sex and turn this into a R fic!" 

Hermione tried to say an incantation, something to punish Draco, but she couldn't do it. Ron and Harry, however, were much less forgiving. "Don't insult Hermione like that!" Ron yelled in a completely platonic way, since this a D/Hr fic. "Petrificus totalus!" Malfoy stood straight as a board, and fell over. 

Harry was quick on the draw, too. "Tornadus maximus!" he cried, and a hallway-sized tornado zoomed Crabbe and Goyle away from the room. 

"Oh, Draco!" Hermione cried, the tears finally coming. Harry and Ron looked at her like she'd grown horns, so she quickly added, "Wish that had happened earlier to you, slimeball!" And then she spit on his face, imagining she was indirectly French kissing her beloved. Malfoy looked disgusted, but luckily Hermione had turned away just in time so as not to notice. Harry and Ron said a spell that sent his body floating out of their compartment, and they shut the door. 

The cart lady came by a few seconds later, and Ron asked, "Want some sweets, Hermione?" 

Hermione gave a woeful, "No," and Ron shrugged. 

"Suit yourself," he said. 

At the school, the trio got off the train, met up with Ginny, Neville, and Luna, and started walking towards the thestrals and the carriages that would take them to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. "Wonder what the first years will be like," Luna said dreamily. There had been fewer and fewer first years since the war started, but Hermione didn't really care. It meant less competition for Draco on the off chance that he was a pedophile. 

Hermione, Ron, and Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table, and waited patiently. The new students filed out, and Hagrid, who was leading them, gave the trio a wave, which they returned, smiling happily to see their old friend. The Sorting Hat started to sing: 

_Oh I am a magical wondrous hat   
Listen to me, because that is that.   
This year will be a time of troubles   
But beneath that, true love bubbles.   
Two loves will unite all the school   
Because together they'll be so cool   
They can beat Voldemort easily   
And do it very feasibly.   
When two lovers meet under   
The moon, never will they be torn asunder!   
Their love will conquer generations   
And Voldemort's slew of scary nations.   
So listen to this fated tale   
And a lover's haunted wail   
Because soon enough Hogwarts' fate will rely   
On former enemies fighting side by side.   
And now I've given enough away!   
So my prophesizing is done for today._

Hermione burst into tears, feeling it was the most romantic thing she had ever heard. Everyone would have heard (since the clapping was confused and awkward), but she managed to muffle her sobs in time. 

"What a load of crap," Ron said in disgust. 

"I agree," said Harry. "Its songs have really been going downhill since we started fighting Voldemort, you know? Must be getting distracted, last year it sang about a Hinkypunk.." 

Hermione shot a glare at Harry, but said nothing. Names were called, people were sorted, houses clapped, and then the students, whispering among themselves in confusion, moved out to the dining hall tables. 

Dumbledore stood at the head of the tables, smiling benevolently, not the least bit perturbed by the Sorting Hat's strange prophecy. "Well," he said, "I'd like to welcome you all to a brand new year at Hogwarts. We may be fighting a terrible war against the Dark Lord that will probably get three quarters of us killed, if we even win, but that shouldn't stop us from having fun!" 

Several of the first years started crying upon hearing this, and sobs broke the second round of the Hogwarts school song. 

"Now," said Dumbledore, "I know I haven't really done this before, but I'm going to publicly announce the new Head Boy and Girl. Everyone listening?" he asked with a grin. Suddenly, he had the students' rapt attention. "The Head Girl…will be Miss Hermione Granger!" 

There was some perfunctory clapping, and Hermione put on a false smile. This was expected, she had known she was going to get the position of Head Girl. But she could never get what she really wanted – Draco. 

"The Head Boy…will be Draco Malfoy!" 

Loud gasps could be heard across the room, and even Draco looked surprised for a second, although his look of astonishment was quickly replaced with a smug grin. Hermione sat, unbelieving her good fortune. _The Head Girl and Boy…they work together…maybe Draco and I…maybe we will have a chance!_

Harry burst into tears, managing to mumble through his tortured sobs, "I always thought I might have a chance at Head Boy, you know, since my father got it and all…and to see it go to that git Malfoy…" 

Ron gave him a pat on the back. "Listen, it's alright mate, and I mean…what did you expect…Malfoy does loads better than you in potions…" 

Hermione said, "Oh well Harry, at least you've found the one love of your life in Ginny," (since this is a D/Hr fic) with a comforting pat, although she wasn't really paying attention. 

"After the ceremony," Dumbledore added, "I would like to talk to the Head Boy and Girl privately." 

Everyone started digging into the food, except Hermione. She would be seeing Draco any second, and she didn't want to gain a pound or two before that. Besides, she didn't feel too much like eating anyway. After everyone else left, and Harry and Ron congratulated her again on winning, gave Hermione their condolences regarding Draco, and walked out, she moved to the front of the room. Dumbledore dismissed all the teachers, and led Hermione and Draco to his office. On the way there, she kept shooting passionate looks of love and longing at her beloved, making sure to change them to hideous scowls whenever he looked over. 

Dumbledore came to the statue and said, "Dirty knickers!" Both Malfoy and Hermione stared at Dumbledore for a second, and he cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. "New security measures, with the war going on." The statue opened, and they went inside. 

Pointing to two chairs, Dumbledore sat opposite them at his desk. "Very well," he said. "You two are responsible for leading our school to a new era of unity, which we will desperately need in this coming war. Therefore…" 


End file.
